Be Connected - Electronics

So my fancy new PDA phone got a scratch on the screen from the horribly abusive practice of being in my pocket, and stopped working properly. I’ll save the gripes about the warranty process for another time; the salient point here is that I’ve been using a little cheapy phone for the first time in some years, and it’s been an experience. It’s some little Motorola number, and the user interface is fairly hostile, but at least it knows its limits. Terrifyingly for the geek in me, it’s starting to make me question the extent to which I needed the fancy phone in the first place.

In any event, it primed me well for Charlie Booker’s hilarious rant about his new phone and its attendant idiocy:

The whole thing is the visual equivalent of a moronic clip-art jumble sale poster designed in the dark by a myopic divorcee experiencing a freak biorhythmic high. Worst of all, it seems to have an unmarked omnipresent shortcut to Orange’s internet service, which means that whether you are confused by the menu, or the typeface, or the user- confounding buttons, you are never more than one click away from accidentally plunging into an overpriced galaxy of idiocy, which, rather than politely restricting itself to news headlines and train timetables, thunders “BUFF OR ROUGH? GET VOTING!” and starts hurling cameraphone snaps of “babes and hunks” in their underwear at you, presumably because some pin-brained coven of marketing gonks discovered the average Orange internet user was teenage and incredibly stupid, so they set about mercilessly tailoring all their “content” toward priapic halfwits, thereby assuring no one outside this slim demographic will ever use their gaudy, insulting service ever again. And then they probably reached across the table and high-fived each other for skilfully delivering “targeted content” or something, even though what they should really have done, if there was any justice in the world, is smash the desk to pieces, select the longest wooden splinters they could find, then drive them firmly into their imbecilic, atrophied, world-wrecking rodent brains.

Word.

Via BoingBoing.

Aram