The fifth grade was when I realized that my eyesight wasn’t exactly 20/20. Sitting a foot away from the TV hitherto never struck me as particularly odd, nor did squinting to see the board in class. Trying on a friend’s frames and seeing the world all of a sudden clearly did, however, tip me off.

Part I: The wire frame years

Ten odd years later, I currently wear a pair of glasses similar to the Oliver Peoples Riley frame and take darn good care of them (as a pair of $200 plus frames should be treated), but for the first year I had my glasses, I pretty much put them through the grinder. Sat on them, stepped on them, found them semi-crushed on the floor of my uncle’s station wagon after weeks of missing them – if glasses could tell a story, these particular glasses would be traumatized, shaking for fear of abuse.

To sum: wire frames are good when you’re a kid, as you can always bend them back into shape.

Part II: The purple frame years

Although I was considered a “smart girl” in high school, I was never the victim of bullying. You would think otherwise from the shape of my purple frame glasses, which I kept in good shape for about a year before somehow crushing them, thus causing one of the temples (the bits that hold the glasses on your ears, in layman’s terms) to detach.

I must have really liked these Fendi eyeglasses-inspired frames, as I simply fixed the pair up with rubber bands and tape, and wore them on for another year and a half.

To sum: even if it seems like a good idea, don’t tape your glasses back up – just buy a new pair, cheapskate.

Part III: The black Coach eyeglasses years

By the time I reached college, I was a far more seasoned eyeglass-wearer, despite the fact that I was still wearing my taped-up pair, so I graduated from nameless-brand eyewear to name-brand eyewear – namely, Coach. These glasses were seriously pimped out: the slim black plastic frames – a good fit for my petite face – were outfitted with anti-glare slim glass lenses (if I’d gone for plastic lenses, they’d be far too thick for the frames!).

Unfortunately, I must have slept with them on at some point, because by the end of their three-year stint, my glasses sat crookedly on my face, giving the impression of slight homelessness.

Bottom line: even with grungy hipster looks hotter than ever, crooked glasses will just make you look sad.

Readers, do you wear glasses? Do you have just one pair, like me, or many?

-Kim