Guns don’t kill zombies. I do.

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wii resident evil blaster, xbox 360 gun, playstation steering wheel

You think you’re going to be able to mow down hordes of flesh-starved zombies with your thumbs on those two wobbly joysticks? Get a grip: first on yourself, and then on a sweet gaming gun, designed specifically for thwarting your enemies. The first time I used my Xbox 360 gun on Left 4 Dead, I felt like I’d invented the wheel, and then fire, and then set the wheel on fire, and then rolled it into a crowd of zombies while celebrating the invention of the burning wheel.

Over the years, there have been as many incarnations of gaming controllers as there have been zombies. You got your slow zombies, your fast zombies, your dumb zombies, your smart zombies. But, when it comes down to it, the method for handling zombies is pretty much the same. You can try to get creative if you want, movie and video game creators certainly have, but the old, trusty standby is a solid arsenal of guns.

In the newest installment of the Resident Evil series, you can try to drag a tiny crosshair across the screen with your joystick and hope to graze your target, or you can point and shoot with a Wii Resident Evil Blaster. Pop goes the zombie.

But, guns aren’t the only way to streamline your gaming experience. If you’ve picked up the newest Gran Turismo game and tried to get your Tokyo Drift on in full effect, you might be getting tired of the old thumbpad controller. A Playstation steering wheel can get you back on track. You’ll be changing your PSN ID to VinDieselRoadGod, or something like that, very soon.

The Stone Age is over, so you can stop banging away like a caveman on a handheld controller. Evolve. Zombies have done it, and so should you.

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